what happened to all the plans?

December 31, 2009

Maheen and I were suppose to hang out all winter break, every single day…..but we have not seen each other even once. This is because I’m stuck with this coughing illness, which turns out is really bronchitis and because I have so much work to do. work? what sort of work you ask? well, getting ready for next semester’s classes, still have to get into two classes and applications!

which leads me to this: I wrote this earlier today:

I can finally say that after a week of guilty feeling of not telling my parents about my grades for last semester I can finally breathe relief. I wanted to tell them sooner but like a 3rd grader who hides her report card, I was scared. Let’s just say that I’m not the smartest cookie in the bag. I’m not even close. So after telling them there was some drama. A lot of drama.

I hardly understand why my parents think that the reason for my short comings is my drive to clean. I do a lot of things to please my parents but cleaning, well, that’s really the ocd in me and I do it to keep my sanity. The other siblings to other housework and I feel that cleaning is my responsibility and duty, something that makes me feel like I live in this house and its not just a motel where room service is suppose to come. wait, do motels even have room service?  But more importantly, if I don’t clean or fail to do it my way, I feel like the germs are going to eat me. I start feeling super hot and itchy and that makes me think that the germs are slowly entering my body and I’m going to rot. crazy? i think so.But cleanliness is half our deen right? So, is it really that bad to over clean? In my defense i’d like to mention that I only clean once a week because of time.

I may be a failure at everything else but not cleaning, which is very pathetic. Which reminds me of the time my boss asked me my greatest weakness and I told her that I was too organized, at least she seemed to like that. But I quit the job, so it doesn’t matter.

Now my greatest focus is to do well this upcoming semester and raise my gpa. Hence, my disappearance from facebook. No, I did leave fb b/c i had a stalker, which is what most people tend to assume. I really don’t know why since there are so many privacy settings on fb and you only post things you want others to know. Anyhow, no more fb for me. Its over-rated anyways.  I read an article a few weeks ago about indian companies refusing to let their employees use facebook at work because it decreases productivity. Maybe that’s why I’m dumb.

wrong again. I was just born with very few brain cells. Don’t think I’m being pessimistic when I say these things. I say them with the greatest honesty and happiness because they’re true. trust me.

Perhaps its my lack of love for science. But then again I don’t entirely hate it ( did I mention that my indeciveness is my greatest weakness)

I did really well in arabic with the highest grade in the class. And hardly spent time for that class. I would study for quizzes and exams 2 hours before they were given. But chemistry, I studied for like a mad man. I practiced for the exams 1-2 weeks prior, met my lab ta every other day….. i can keep going with this but its no use b/c I fail at chem.

OK, no more complaining, since everyone is a pro at doing that. NOW just to focus and pray that I do well next semester.


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